What the F#$% situations

I'm just going to be really honest.  My reaction to some situations with my kids is "What the F#$%?"

Sometimes, I find myself in "what the f#$%" situations with my kids where the not-listening and everything that comes with it, seems out of my control.

Let's talk about last night:

It's 10 O'clock and I'm now on the one millionth reminder to two of my sons to take a shower.  The girls have been getting in and out of bed for about 20 minutes and my oldest is trying to play upbeat video game music loudly on his kindle.  I get one boy to the shower, the other one runs away, the girls are out of bed again.  Next thing, both boys are in bathroom and the youngest girl is in the bathroom putting deodorant all over her body.  Then, I walk into my daughters' room to find all their laundry that I had just spent 1.5 hrs putting away, all packed up in suitcases and backpacks.

After 30 minutes of telling them the same things over and over again, with no action, I had found myself in a "what the f#$%" situation.

I just lost it.

I started yelling (maybe screaming)- yes, I know, 10:20 PM, probably not the best idea, but seriously, sometimes the not-listening thing, it just gets to me.

Today, I woke up feeling like the worst mother on the planet.  How could I have handled it better?  How do some mothers always keep a nice, calm even tone- I really want to know.

This morning, while waiting to meet a friend for coffee, I picked up my favorite book and this is what I read:

"Go to that place of peace, even in the midst of turbulence."

Maybe I was so worked up last night, I was the one who needed a time out to get recomposed.

While talking with my friend this morning, I realized, moms need to talk to other moms more often.  Real talk, not like "Jonny got into AT" talk.  But, like "my kids got me so pissed last night, I wanted to smash a glass" talk.

None of us are perfect or super- but we are real.  Can't we just be more real?

From that one hour talk with my friend, I feel renewed and ready to start today over with a fresh perspective.  Trying to deal with situations you've never been in before, or that don't have manuals can be very tricky.  Talking with someone who has been in similar ones or can sort of relate is refreshing.

Next time you find yourself in a "What the f#$%" situation, give yourself a time out.  Go put your head in a paper bag (Carry on Warrior), take a few deep breaths, say a prayer, or schedule a coffee date with a friend who can relate.

Always remember you are not alone and you are not the worst parent in the world!  It takes a village and a whole lot of iron!!!

Unbroken

I don't read a lot of war books, it's never been my thing.  After reading The Lone Survivor, I was very compelled to read Unbroken when the movie came out last year.  (books are way better than movies).

In a nutshell, the book is a true story about a man named Louie Zamperini, during WWII.  Louis was an olympic runner, who enlisted.  He was part of a flight that went down in the Pacific and he and one of his crew mates survived floating in the Pacific on a raft for 46 days.  They kept each other alive by telling stories from their past, and quizzing each other on facts.  Louie started praying to God, and made a promise to devote his life to God if he were able to return home safely.  They made it to land alive, only to fall into the hands of the Japanese.  From there, he was put into many different prison camps for about two years.

Having lived in Japan for almost five years, this story was hard for me.  It painted a very different picture of the Japanese people than what I know.  I got so upset, I had to take days at a time off from reading.  The prisoners at the camps had to endure beatings, starvation, humiliation, slave labor, despicable living conditions, lice, rats, and more.  Throughout it all, Louie remained unbroken.

When the war was finally over and the men were rescued and brought home, the torture didn't end.  Nightmares happened and people were asking them questions, which was a constant reminder of their ordeal.  The person Louie became at home, as a result of his ordeal, was too much, it saddened me so much and I was so upset, that I literally put the book down for over a month.  One day, I picked it back up again and started reading- Louie's wife heard Billy Graham was in town and she wanted to take him.  He finally gave in and went.

When he was listening to Billy Graham, he wanted to leave, and all of the sudden, he heard the following words, "God works miracles one after another... God says If you suffer, I'll give you the grace to go forward."  He was stopped in his tracks and reminded of all he had gone through, and that he had made it through all of it- then he remembered that promise he made to God that day in the raft all those years ago.  He had remained unbroken, but it was because God was right there with him the whole time.

From here, it is incredible the life change that occurs with Louie and how he takes his experiences and turns them into something incredible.  All my anger, angst, sickness about what I had previously read in the book, all that stuff that made me put the book down for a month, were resolved.  I felt uplifted.

"What God asks of men is faith.  His invisibility is the truest test of that faith.  To know who sees him, God makes himself unseen."

This quote in the book spoke to me personally.  It's so easy to say God is not real, especially if something bad is happening to you, but those are the times when you need him the most.  This story encapsulated that perfectly.

Things that happen in my daily life too often have me feeling "why me" or "I can't take it anymore".  Not one thing, not one of them even marginally compares to Louie's ordeal.

Not everything is going to be perfect or go as planned, we have to know that and expect it.  I know when I get in those bad situations, where I feel like I might break down, I need pray to God to provide me with the strength to stay unbroken.

The Barbell

Have you ever been in a dark place?

Have you had a bad day and it just keeps getting worse?

Someone’s negativity is seeping in through your veins.

That last bit of patience is being juiced right out of you.

It seems like there’s no way out.  No matter which decision you make, the darkness is still there.

Maybe you’ve had one of these moments, maybe it’s been one of those days, or worse weeks or months.

Go pick up a barbell.

Let me tell you, the metal is like a magnet for bullshit.

You pick it up and throw it down and all of the sudden, you feel a little lighter

Keep picking up the bar.

The pain and suffering you incur from the WOD is temporary, it is nothing compared to that dark place you were in when you opened the door to the box.

Don’t ask me how I feel before the WOD, ask me after.  

You may be physically tired, but mentally, you’re a little more free.  

Break out of that dark place you keep getting trapped in- look for that ray of light.

There is bullshit all around you- do not step in it.  Do not let it seep into your soul.  Do not release it onto others.

Bring it to the box and give it to the bar- that’s what it’s there for- to take away the bullshit, to make you whole again.