Small things

 Last weekend, we took a quick family getaway to the beach before fall schedules take over our lives.

Saturday morning, I saw a man walk off the beach with three large conch shells.  He said he found them right there, and he was out there early.  I wanted to find one too so I spent most of my time that day at the beach searching for shells.  The waves were very rough at the beach due to the incoming storms, so the kids weren't in the water too much.  I invited them to find shells with me- I offered a reward to the person that found the largest in tact shell.

Two of my kids asked me if we could be the first ones on the beach the next morning so we would have a better chance of finding the largest shell.  The low tide was at 4:15 AM, so they asked if we could get up at 5:15 to head out.

The next morning, I got up at 5:30 AM and to my surprise, the kids were up ready to go to the beach. We headed out to the beach, it was so dark and beautiful.  We were the first ones on the beach.  I was so fixated on finding a large shell, I kept flashing my light looking for a big object.  After 45 minutes of searching, all we had found was a hollowed out decrepit skeleton of a small conch shell and many broken tops.

I actually found myself starting to pray to God that we would find a shell-- then I stopped because I felt ridiculous that I would pray to find a shell.  I had built up my kids so much that we would definitely find a shell, since the man the day before had found 3.  I was worried they would get frustrated and want to leave, but I secretly enjoyed spending the time with them and we were having fun.  Then, I remembered that I heard that no prayer is too large or too small for God.  So,  I started my prayer over and asked God to help us find a shell, so they could experience its beauty and see that there is so much life outside of their phones.

By this time, there were four other people on the beach, each heading in directions opposite to where we were.  We were in an area with lots of debris and had searched it pretty heavily.  I finally got frustrated and said "great, those people up ahead are going to find the shells before us."  My son said, "Mom why are you so worried about finding a big one, the chances of finding a small one are just the same as finding a big one...what's wrong with a small one?"

Then, he looked down, and goes "see mom look, don't forget about the small things", and picks up a beautiful small, completely intact conch shell, right next to his foot.  I couldn't believe it.  We had stood in that area searching for several minutes and no sooner do I say my prayer, than this shell should appear.

I do believe God placed this shell at my son's foot.  He wanted me to know he is with him, even in my moments of doubt, even in his moments of doubt and weakness.  He is with us, I just need to trust.

No prayer is too small or too large.

No prayer is too silly.

The outcome of a situation you pray for may not be obvious until later, sometimes a lot later.

Stop focusing so much on big things.

Stop trying to predict outcomes.

Stop trying to think you know what you're supposed to see or hear.

Stop putting so much pressure on yourself.

Stop worrying.

Start living in the moment.

Start enjoying.

Start appreciating all the small things.

Start opening your eyes.

Start seeing everything, because the one thing you think you're supposed to be looking for may be blocking you from the real treasure.

Stop Apologizing

I'm here for what seems like my yearly post.

I'm not going to apologize for not getting in here more often.   Lately, I have felt called to write.

I'm moving soon.  I'm writing 200+ letters, one to every member at the gym I'm leaving.  This is an excerpt from a letter I wrote.  I think it applies to many.

I did not ask you to join the box.  You decided to.

I did not ask you to be a member of this class.  You wanted to.

I did not make you come to class.  You motivated yourself.

I did not ask you to learn olympic lifts.  You hoped to.

I did not ask you to push yourself to your limits.  You decided to.

Don't apologize to me for anything.

You are here because you want to be.

I am happy you are here.

There is no mistake that our paths have crossed.

Your apology is not necessary.

No one walks in the door and knows what they are doing.  That's why we are all here.

Your lift was not perfect.  I know.  (No one's is).  Don't apologize that I had to come fix something.  That is part of my job.

My goal isn't to make you an expert, world class olympic lifter....  My goal is to make you confident, strong, and capable- just like I know you are.

You were put on this Earth with a purpose.  You came in here looking for something.  Find it.

Every time you walk through that door,  you are a little bit better.  My job is to keep making that happen.

Stop apologizing and start growing.  Reach for bigger and better things.

Be unapologetically you!

You are more

You are more.

You are more than just the number on the scale.  You are body parts that are strong and functional.  You are the muscles recovering and building up from being pushed.  You are unstoppable.  You are a way better, more positive, and poised version of you.

You are more than your score on the whiteboard.  One day, one workout, one lift, these do not define you.  You are more.   You are the sweat you left on the floor that drenched your clothes.  You are the breath that you lost because you were working hard. You are stronger than yesterday. 

You are more than the clothes you wear. You are that extra spring in your step, you are that smile on your face- these are the accessories that make your outfit complete.  You are the muscles and curves that give you shape.

You are more than a mom or a dad.   You are a guiding light, illuminating a path for many eager followers.  You are inspiration.  You are a complete person because you take care of yourself so you can give more to others. 

You are more than just a face in the crowd.  You are confidence and joy.  You are my motivation.  Your movements keep me going too. Your effort inspires me to do more.  Your presence, your voice, they are all part of my experience.  You are more than just another person in the room. 

You are more than the size of your butt or your legs.  You are the person who lifted something they never thought possible.  You are a role model.  You are a friend and uplifter.  The size of your underwear is no measure of the size of your golden heart.  You are the happier mom who can tolerate more.  You are the one driving home feeling on top of the world because of what you can do.

You are more than your fears.  You are the example facing one scary thing then another.  You are the motivator, conquering things left and right.  You are empowered.  You are a life that is worth living.

A number does not define you, your life, the amount of friends you have, or the level of joy you are allowed to experience. 

You are so much more.

Unbroken

I don't read a lot of war books, it's never been my thing.  After reading The Lone Survivor, I was very compelled to read Unbroken when the movie came out last year.  (books are way better than movies).

In a nutshell, the book is a true story about a man named Louie Zamperini, during WWII.  Louis was an olympic runner, who enlisted.  He was part of a flight that went down in the Pacific and he and one of his crew mates survived floating in the Pacific on a raft for 46 days.  They kept each other alive by telling stories from their past, and quizzing each other on facts.  Louie started praying to God, and made a promise to devote his life to God if he were able to return home safely.  They made it to land alive, only to fall into the hands of the Japanese.  From there, he was put into many different prison camps for about two years.

Having lived in Japan for almost five years, this story was hard for me.  It painted a very different picture of the Japanese people than what I know.  I got so upset, I had to take days at a time off from reading.  The prisoners at the camps had to endure beatings, starvation, humiliation, slave labor, despicable living conditions, lice, rats, and more.  Throughout it all, Louie remained unbroken.

When the war was finally over and the men were rescued and brought home, the torture didn't end.  Nightmares happened and people were asking them questions, which was a constant reminder of their ordeal.  The person Louie became at home, as a result of his ordeal, was too much, it saddened me so much and I was so upset, that I literally put the book down for over a month.  One day, I picked it back up again and started reading- Louie's wife heard Billy Graham was in town and she wanted to take him.  He finally gave in and went.

When he was listening to Billy Graham, he wanted to leave, and all of the sudden, he heard the following words, "God works miracles one after another... God says If you suffer, I'll give you the grace to go forward."  He was stopped in his tracks and reminded of all he had gone through, and that he had made it through all of it- then he remembered that promise he made to God that day in the raft all those years ago.  He had remained unbroken, but it was because God was right there with him the whole time.

From here, it is incredible the life change that occurs with Louie and how he takes his experiences and turns them into something incredible.  All my anger, angst, sickness about what I had previously read in the book, all that stuff that made me put the book down for a month, were resolved.  I felt uplifted.

"What God asks of men is faith.  His invisibility is the truest test of that faith.  To know who sees him, God makes himself unseen."

This quote in the book spoke to me personally.  It's so easy to say God is not real, especially if something bad is happening to you, but those are the times when you need him the most.  This story encapsulated that perfectly.

Things that happen in my daily life too often have me feeling "why me" or "I can't take it anymore".  Not one thing, not one of them even marginally compares to Louie's ordeal.

Not everything is going to be perfect or go as planned, we have to know that and expect it.  I know when I get in those bad situations, where I feel like I might break down, I need pray to God to provide me with the strength to stay unbroken.